Art Transforming Grief into Passage

Being number 6 out of seven children with a 16 yr span of births, I should not be surprised that at the age of 68, I am having to bury my older siblings.  Yet, a month ago, I had to watch my younger sister leave this life too soon. 

I bring up death not to enter into a dark phase with you all, but to share with you how art can help one move through the stages of grief …. even in time  bring you a place of serenity and gratitude.

In April of 2025, I suddenly lost the hero in my life, my older brother by 8 yrs Andrew.  I idolized Andrew and fondly remember following him everywhere (and he let me) while wearing one of his baseball caps of course.  He loved baseball.  He was always there for me even throughout my adult life and the reason why my husband and I settled in Central Oregon.  Andrew’s love for this area and his compassion for the community wherever he lived, was deeply imbedded in me.  A day does not pass by where by looking at the nature around me, I can find peace by sensing he is closely nearby. 

When Andrew suddenly died here in Bend, I was able to be by his side immediately afterward and to say good bye.  That entire day I had an immense sense of his presence and connection to the beauty of the Deschutes River.  My husband and I went for a walk in Tumalo Park up the river, and Andrew’s words flowed through me.  He did like to write and “together” we came up with the River poem.  Later I was painting a project concerning  the loss of the Red Fox in Deschutes county, and much to my surprise the painting “Greiving Fox” emerged.  I had no intention of painting about grief, nor about myself being a fox, but you can see in the imagery, a dying adult fox with young fox hovering over him crying red tears of blood.  I have come to understand, that younger fox is myself crying over the great loss of my brother.  I can’t tell you enough how much that painting has helped me to process my loss and move forward with deeper love for his person and all he did for this world and myself. 

Thus, when Laurie died last month, I started trying to find a way to work through this grief with art as well.  It has not come to me easily at all.   Most of my connections with Laurie were when we were young.  [You can see us together as children in the dedication page to Tanny.]   I recall daily found memories of our growing up together as well as the challenges she faced living with Cerebral Palsy.  She was the poster child for March of Dimes for many years and she was really cute with her curly blond hair and contagious smile.  I keep hearing her laugh with a cackle!  As difficult as her life was, she never complained about being disabled.  She loved people and possibly even more her dogs, cats, and fish. 

I am not proud of what artwork has come out of this grief, but I do believe sketching her golden retriever and cats has strengthened that bond I had with her.  Laurie I hope this makes you smile. 

I hope you too can find healing with your artwork if ever you suffer loss.  It can become a positive point of reference as you move forward and find ways to incorporate your loved one into your life moving ahead. 

For Andrew: 

WE ARE ONE WITH THE RIVER

We are one with the River.

               We follow it as it continues to flow.

    Even the eddy can guide us ahead 

      Big boulders can provide us rest. 

     It is the small ones that are hidden that are hard to traverse. 

We are one with the River.

The River has only one request:

     That we don’t cease its rhythm, that we don’t stop its quest.

                 For this we must be conscious of all that enters its streams, 

of the garbage we toss aside,

    of the blind eye we show its screams.

We are one with the River.

    As long as we let it flow it will continue on forever 

    to pathways we may never know. 

We are one with the River,

 unless we clog its ways…. for then it stops.....

and We cease to flow again.

The Grieving Fox

Ginger Tabby Cat

Foxy Cat

red/golden retriever Laurie’s first dog.